Published online 18 February 2011.
This is a diary introducing a new group (well, not really: this is parody) for people who believe in the ” Elmer Fudd Theory of Electoral Victory .” To wit:
1) Praise our favorite politician’s big resume2) Show how bad the Republicans are
3) Be VEWWY VEWWY QUIET about EVWYTHING else
Our new group, the “Elmer Fudd Theory Of Electoral Victory” Group, is a place for people who think that the surest route to socialist paradise is to campaign for the election and re-election of politicians whose budget cuts fall largely upon poor people .
- We support our favorite politicians unconditionally by refusing to withdraw our promises to vote for them, while at the same time claiming to pressure them.
- We work hard to support the political agendas of politicians whose actual statements are too vague and general to be nailed down to specifics.
- We praise our favorite politicians for their positions of resolute strength while at the same time looking for appropriate scapegoats should said politicians fail to do what we want them to do.
- And, lastly, we proclaim the effectiveness of our favorite politicians’ legislative achievements by reminding everyone that the Republicans would be worse.
Between now and the next election day we’ll be working hard to pick out the slogans which we’ll use to bridge the gap between the actual performance of our favorite politicians and the fundamental needs of their constituents. We’ll be running lots of picture diaries, too, to be sure any political contention that develops around, say, education policy, finance policy, or maybe foreign policy or climate change or whatever, is lost in a ceaseless parade of pleasing images.
Please don’t troll our group or diaries, especially if you’re from that icky “frustrati” group set up by that disrespectful Cassiodorus guy. We’re well meaning, pragmatic, tolerant, rational, well-educated, and open-minded people. Oh, and we’ll make you into lifelong pariahs, both on the Internet and in real life, if you say anything profane about our favorite politicians.